Sunday, September 30, 2012

Visions & Dreams...

Definition of Dream--> a strongly desired goal or purpose

Definition of Vision--> the act or power of seeing : sight

Do you ever remember when you were a child, and the teacher asked you what you wanted to be when you 'grew up', what you actually shared with her??

I do...I wanted to be: a firefighter, a writer, an actress, etc. etc....also a teacher and a Mom. I guess some dreams DO actually come true :)

Lately, when I ask my own children what they aspire to be, I am hearing: a spy, watch babies, take care of horses, a race car driver. Hmmm...which one of these will actually come true?

When I think of how God created us all unique (and I mean some of us are MORE unique than others...I digress!) with various gifts, differing talents, a wide range of looks, different interests, unique is quite obvious that God didn't intend all of us to be cookie cutters of each other. I don't think that applies to any area of our lives more than our visions and dreams.

Yet. So often. We hopelessly get lost in life by functioning on what I like to think of as 'auto pilot' (I get up, I eat, I go to work, I pick up the kids, etc. etc.) We lose our passions. We diminish our creativity. We don't really have a purpose of the WHY behind each one of our activities.

Recently I was asked by a mentor of mine to begin thinking of specific dreams/goals/visions that I desire in each area of my life (mental, career, physical, relational, financially, you name it!) I began to think..I began to ponder...

What is it that I'm living for each day anyway? Why am I doing what I'm doing? And where am I going?
Some areas of my life I can honestly say I had an answer for...others I did not.

So I've began journaling again...and dreaming. and pondering. and believing for bigger things. and stirring up hope in other areas that I had lost hope... for a long time....

I feel that it is a necessary task in life to re-evaluate ourselves. Often. Very often. Life is really too short to do otherwise, and our greater purposes are too great to neglect.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Dealing with Disappointment

It's been a busy few days......I finished my FINAL exam for a course I've been taking...for oh, like 3 years. I was so excited to be finally done, but the excitement seemed to be overshadowed by the intense fatigue that set in after a long hard month of studying for it. Yesterday was a very tiring day..

But now today began a fresh week. A week with lots of hope, fresh ideas floating around in my mind, and yes, lots of brainstorming on my part. I figured that now that I've finished my course I am ready to move forward and take on the world. Go forward, move along. Nothing can get in my way.

As so often happens in our lives, I met with some resistance after my initial exhurberance. Nothing major. Nothing that most people can't handle but the disappointment that can set in so often after we set out on a journey with such large, lofty aspirations swimming around on the inside...

Today, was not a good day by any stretch. On many levels. The kids didn't seem to be listening. One of them gave me such a hard time with my homeschooling that my husband had to come home to help out. A party event I had been working on, planning for the last few weeks actually, met with little to no response on the part of those our family had invited. Friends I had been waiting to hear from never responded. My husband had a really bad day at work. The dog puked in the house...not once but twice! And did I mention  our pooch choose today to have an 'accident' in our school room...did I mention my Mother told me that some of my extended family had another blow out with one another..did I mention...did I mention :)

Some days just don't 'feel' as good as others, do they? Some days you just feel like, so what's the point of all of this? Why all the effort when it seems my 'best' is met with mediocre results, okay at best.

As I sit here tonight and try to disengage from my hectic day some thoughts came to me...

1) it is okay to have days that are disappointing

2) we all have them, no matter what spin we may choose to put on them

3) my perspective can change my entire response altogether. this alone is in my hands.

So I sit back and take some time to reflect: was today all that bad?? Well, for starters...I got more than one hug from each one of my children today. I did have a friend, that I dearly adore, text me just to say 'she misses me'. My grandmother sent me an email letting me know "she can't wait for us to come visit". My husband gave me a back message after work (on my ohh so tired muscles!). My kids ended the day playing well together. My event still has hope, maybe some of the friends didn't have the time to respond yet.
The dog stopped puking. The supper was deelish. The bills are paid. We have a house. There's always a new day tomorrow...

And most of all I remember that I have a Creator that loves me and understands WHATEVER kind of day I've had :)

...and for the record: I think I just may sleep quite, quite contently tonight!

Sunday, September 16, 2012

He is worth it all!

It's been a hectic few weeks. Late nights. Studying. More late nights. School with the kids. Early morns. Church. Small Group. Friends. Family. Calls. Texts. Emails. Don't forget tweets and facebook feed updates and responses to all the messages. Cooking. Cleaning. Exercising. Time with hubby. Sleeping. REPEAT!
Need I say more? :)

Anywhooo...I woke up this morning with a heavy burden on my shoulders. My exam, that is coming up in less than one week, was pressing in on me. Worth half of the final grade of my diploma (that I've been working on long-distance for the past 3 years), and to top it all off you need an 80% to pass. A lot of pressure needless to say. Hence the pressing weight I was feeling this morn.

I came down the stairs and decided to do something I don't usually do in the morning....I turned on my computer and searched for some worship music. Just a tune that had easy to follow words that I could sing/hum along with. I found one and began to sing until I came to the point where I felt like letting 'er rip! I sang, and sang, and sang some more. Afterwards, I felt lighter somehow. Refreshed. Like dancing around my house! I didn't want to stop but my husband said we had to go for our appointment. I didn't want to. It had only been a few songs...could we sing some more?? It was a short time, but an AMAZING time nonetheless.

That, I believe, is the power of turning our focus off of ourselves. From ourselves unto our Creator and giving Him the honour and praise that He deserves. Giving Him our focus and our attention allows us to begin to think of our circumstances as inconsequential next to our eternity. It changed my whole perspective and lightened my load.

That, my friends, was a simple reminder to myself today, that HE alone is worth it all :)

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

I am officially a HOMESCHOOL mom!

~It's been SIX WHOLE DAYS since we began our homeschool journey! ~

How lovely is that? ...we have made it six whole days!! But seriously, when my husband and I first explored the idea of homeschooling I was SO certain that I would not be able to do it. period. end of argument.

However, as we began exploring the idea of homeschooling (the 'why' behind it) and met some homeschool veterans my confidence began to build. and build. and build. I read a whole whackload of books. Searched the internet regularly. Engaged in conversations with those in the 'know.

I am still unsure if after this year we will continue. With 4 children at varying levels I can already see this is not a journey for the faint of heart. Most evenings since we have started, I have been incredibly, INCREDIBLY tired. I usually am not 100% coherent when my husband returns home in the evening (maybe that's an exaggeration, but not too much of one!!!). I find I am more forgetful. I'm not cleaning as much (mind you I was always a bit of a zealous clean freak, so this is prob a good thing actually!!!). I am sure my close friends have already noticed that I am a bit..well, uh busier and more unavailable than I was a couple of weeks ago. My hubby is getting used to me wanting a break sometime after he gets home. I am foreseeing that our bank account might suffer for awhile (I used to work part-time in the not so distant past)...

But I am already seeing such positive changes! I am seeing our 4 year begin the first steps towards reading. My older children are reading more...on their own! My kids are seeming (most of the time) to get along house is getting cleaned by my 4 little helpers (delegate! delegate! delegate!...not to forget did I mention 'work ethic'?)...I am researching new info alongside the kids (so growing in the journey right alongside of them)...we are eating out less...staying in more during the day...meeting new friends along the journey (homeschool support groups...gotta love 'em).

Ask me at the end of this week how much I love homeschooling. For now, I am a growing Mom in the process :) :)

Sunday, September 9, 2012

The Journey Continues

I stumbled upon my blog this morning! At first I didn't recognize it and thought it was someone else (wow, that name sure sounds familiar...hmmm)...I soo didn't realize I was currently logged into my email account and so, yeah well I am a bit forgetful sometimes :) :)

Anyway, my life has kept moving forward since I last wrote a blog. I have currently started a new undertaking..HOMESCHOOLING!!! I am hoping to blog in the coming months about my homeschooling adventure and in the process hope to connect with some of you!!

***Please feel free to comment about any of my posts! I'd love to hear from you :)


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