Monday, February 17, 2014

Parenting Principle — Reward, don’t ‘bribe’!!!

Guest Blogger Today!

I have the lovely Joanne Leach guest blogging here today. Here's a little bit about her:

"I'm the mother of two married children, and grandmother of five.  My husband Bob and I have been pastoring a non-denominational church for 28 years now.  My passion in life is helping women achieve their full potential, especially in this day when women are pulled in so many directions.  I'm excited about seeing the next generation grow up with character and integrity and I believe good parenting is the key!"

& please take a moment to check out her amazing blog!

OR her church's website for some inspiring stories

Parenting Principle

          Reward your children for good behaviour — don’t bribe them to get good behaviour!!!
Some parents have a hard time discerning the difference between bribes and rewards, yet there is a difference.  Whether we like it or not, we live in a society where certain behaviour reaps certain benefits.  (Some parents disagree with this, but how many would continue to go to work if there was no pay check at the end of the week?)   

Here are some examples of rewards:
–an allowance earned on the weekend for doing chores all week long
–a special treat for doing well at school
–a hot chocolate and cookies after shoveling snow

And here are some examples of bribes:
–’if you go and clean your room I will give you $5.00′
–’go and take the dog for a walk and you can watch that TV show’
–’please take the garbage out, and I will give you a treat’.

I hope you can see the difference, because there is one! In a family, all of us have responsibilities.  Some things we like, other things not so much.  We are not paid to do these things (I wish I got paid everytime I made a meal!!!!) we do them simply because we are part of a family, and we all share the load and contribute.

A child should not be raised with the idea that they are doing you a special favour by helping out, and therefore deserve a reward or payment.  Kids should accept the fact that everyone pitches in, with a good attitude.  That’s what family members do.  Doing age appropriate chores is normal.
If a parent chooses to give a special treat or reward for an extra special job done well, that is their prerogative.  It should be appreciated, but certainly not expected.

Allowance falls into a separate category, because it’s a great way to instill responsibility in children.  (However, if chores are not done, the allowance is not given, but then the chores still must be done — they are not optional!).   The other benefit of an allowance is that young children can earn money, and then the fun begins of teaching them how to save, spend, and give.  And that’s another blog for another time.

The goal is to raise children who are diligent, hard workers, helpful, clean, tidy, selfless, and on it goes.  It takes work, but it’s so worth it.

Oh and, start young — even a two year old can pick up toys! And a five year old can cook!


  1. Thank you for sharing your lovely story with us here at "Tell Me a Story." Rewarding a child for accomplishments is good. I enjoyed your examples. I remember receiving a small money reward for good report cards, and it was an incentive to achieve.

    1. Thanks Hazel! I agree with my guest blogger too...not always easy when 'bribing' can seem easier at times, but wanting to parent from the heart. Thanks again for always stopping by :)

  2. Yes! Rewards are incentive to keep up positive character traits-- not a lure into suspending bad ones long enough to get by!

    1. Yep, you hit the nail on the head (not a lure into suspending bad ones long enough to get by!!) Thanks for coming by the blog :)

  3. Wonderful share I believe firmly in earning not giving and bribes :)

  4. Common sense reigns again : ) Children are capable of so much. Yet we trust them with so little in the area of chores. As a child we always had chores because we were part of the family. I tell my children the same thing today. Yet so many parents don't even give their children chores or bribe them to do them. Children need responsibilities to grow up responsible. Thanks for being a voice of common sense into the parenting world. Life & Blessings to you.



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