Tuesday, March 25, 2014

~Why We Had Another One: Our Story~



I met him when I was a single mother of two small boys. 

We had so much in common, and one of our commonalities was the fact that we both wanted to have a large family. I still recall one of our first dates, walking around a wealthy cul-de-sac neighbourhood by the local movie theater. The night was warm, and we walked & talked for what felt like a really long time. I said I wanted six kids, he agreed. I guess that's what settles things forever, right? :)

It was a short time later that we were engaged, and then married. Right after the vows were said, and the honeymoon finished, we began discussing when we'd have another one. My thing was I didn't want there to be this huge gap between our second son & the next. He was literally just adjusting to being married, so his stance was 'no rush dear'.

Over the next couple of weeks we talked, and talked some more, until finally it was decided that we would start trying. A month or so later we found out that indeed we had been blessed with another bambino!

So, our first year of marriage was really just the start of our juggling act. He had taken over the family business from his father. Me pregnant. Raising two young boys. All in the midst of learning to have a harmonious marriage. It actually went quite well, all things considering.

Our first daughter came to us the following year towards the end of July. I had a wonderful home birth that lasted less than 2 hours. I had never felt better in all my life.

She was a fairly easy going baby, and life continued to be pretty smooth. Although we had some stressful moments, there seemed to be nothing that could overwhelm our love for one another.

We then decided that since I was in such great health, and that the two eldest boys had each other as best buds, we would try for another babe as soon as it was advisable. It wasn't as easy this time to conceive, but after a number of months, we were pregnant again. This time another boy :)

This pregnancy didn't go quite as well. I had some minor issues crop up. I didn't get out as much & felt a bit isolated. When I saw people I felt very aloof. Hubby's job got busier & the pressures of the business weighed heavily on him. I felt that I was getting no time or attention from him regarding some issues in the home. Bitterness crept into my heart. I did fight it with the Lord's help, but it led to some very rough patches in our marriage...

After our son's birth I decided right away there was absolutely NO WAY I was getting pregnant again! I really pressured & pressured my hubby, until he finally agreed to get a vasectomy. I felt peace about it. We moved on.

As our children grew, so did the pressures. However, as my relationship with the Lord grew, so did my ability to learn forgiveness, patience & grace. Hubby also was growing spiritually himself. Soon things became to look bright again. I started to regret my decision about 'no more children'. 

We discussed fostering a child, and seriously considered it. I called the local Children's Aid Society. But, we weren't ready to have the home study yet. I didn't feel the time was right for us.

We also talked about adopting a child from overseas. I scoured websites in my 'spare' time & signed up for email listings of young children, particularly ones with disabilities (which is my passion!). Not much seemed to look hopeful there either For one, the cost was astronomical. We talked about how to save that kind of money, but we still didn't have a peace about taking that next step.

I would have dream after dream of being pregnant. I began to imagine what our next daughter would look like. (our firstborn daughter had a strong desire for another sister!)

So, after several years had passed,& after more prayer & discussion, we looked into having a reversal of his vasectomy. Again, the price was an issue. And was I ready to delve back into the world of babies once again??!

We had a few confirmations. This was one of them: we went to the doctor for a consult before the surgery. For some reason, he randomly offered us $500 off of the procedure price. Later the receptionist let us know that she had NO idea why he would do such a thing.

This time things began to come into place. Much more quickly. Some of our close friends were standing with us in prayer. 

I, for one, felt a bit nervous about the pregnancy aspect. However, I was so excited to move forward from my past fears & bad memories. We were finally unified and moving into fulfilling a dream that hubby & I now both had.

After the operation, the doctor let hubby know that everything was functioning the way it should, and even though it had been longer than optimal for these types of operations, he saw no reason we shouldn't conceive within six months or so.

We began to pray. And wait.

Almost nine months passed, and really I got tired of waiting. I just thought, well it probably didn't work anyway...so let's simply move on! I stopped thinking about it so much. Also, my cycles were becoming increasingly irregular, so the thought came to me that perhaps I wasn't ovulating much, or even at all.

So I was in this frame of mind, when one day I felt ravenously hungry. Desperate even. I am actually a holistic nutritionist (trying to eat healthy anyway) when I went through a local burger drivethru and filled my bag up with a whole bunch of food crap! I couldn't scarf it down fast enough, but then soon felt extremely nauseous.

In my ignorance I convinced myself I had some overgrowth of candida or some weird bug (LOL), but I picked up a pregnancy test to ensure I ruled it out. Hubby & I were actually wide-eyed and shocked when it said YES! Weird that we would be shocked after such an operation. But remember, that for nine months no action seemed to be happening. We had by this point really began to think that nothing WOULD happen without some intervention

I forgot to throw in another neat tidbit of encouragement. Our firstborn daughter had prayed a simple prayer of faith earlier in the year: "God, please send me a baby sister by Christmas". She prayed it over & over again.

I told her to let it go, and that sometimes God's desires & timing don't always match ours. I told her we may not have another child, or it may take a long time. I had even by this point seen the doctor to see if we should pursue fertility 'help', while all she recommended is that we both get tested. I had thankfully put that on hold.

Then, lo & behold we were expecting!!!

Nine months have come & gone, and even though there were times I despised my body a lot during this pregnancy (for me it has gotten harder as I have aged a wee bit) I rejoiced SO, SO very much when I finally got to hold this precious little one in my arms:) 


Are we going to have any more?

 We're not completely sold on that idea at this point. But I don't regret all the decisions we made to bring us to where we are now.

 Would I have done things differently, now that I can look back? Yes, I probably would. 

But who's to say what we would have done. Hindsight is always 20/20.

I am so thankful for another precious life that joined our family
. She brings joy to our hearts. She brings smiles to the kids' faces. She is one of us :)


23 comments:

  1. Aw..what a sweet story. You're right, there's just a feeling that this is the right thing and everything seems to fall into place when it's meant for you.

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    1. Yes, I'm really glad I didn't let fear hold me back from this decision. Thanks Julie for stopping by :)

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  2. What a wonderful story. -Thank you for visiting my blog. :)

    Stephanie@crazylittlelovebirds

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  3. beautiful :) I have two boys and often wonder if circumstances will lead me to have any more! You never know what life has in store for you!

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    1. I'm sure with two boys you're already pretty busy! Of course, be open...yes, you never know. Thanks so much for coming by the blog :)

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  4. Our story has some similar points. We've had two post-reversal babies thus far, and are so grateful for God's Grace in our weakness!

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    1. That's awesome!!! I'm hearing more & more of these stories...good to see I'm not alone :)

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  5. I told my dh I wanted 6 kids before we married, too! :) After #7, he had the big V, and we have 3 adopted children that came along when we realized our family wasn't complete.

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    1. Ten children! So blessed, eh? We are still talking about adoption, but God will have to open that door before we'd pursue it further :)

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  6. I enjoyed reading this. I have 2 sons and have always wanted a daughter but I've come to realize that God has other plans for me. You are truly blessed!

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    1. That's awesome! Three children is more than enough for a lot of my friends as well...I'm of the mindset that God knows what we can each handle :)
      Thanks for stopping by!

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  7. A beautiful story. We have eight and are hoping for a ninth - all in God's hands.

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  8. We too opted for a vasectomy after our 4th child - and then we had 7 years of barrenness. Then my husband went and had a reversal - and now we have 4 more girls and a another baby on the way. :o)

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  9. and God is always in the middle of it all.... :D

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  10. So sweet! Sometimes we don't really have a choice when it comes to when they're going to come. Our spirit just tells us so! BTW I nominated you this week!! Check it out http://www.highheelsandtrainingwheels.com/posts/2014/03/small-victories-sunday/

    Thanks for linking up to #SmallVictoriesSundays!

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  11. I had my 4th child when my other children were 18, 20, and 22. He has been the joy of all our lives. There is never a wrong time to have a child when they come into a loving family. I am so glad that you were able to bring another child into your family to love and cherish.

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  12. Oh I enjoyed reading this so much! After our 4th baby, my husband had a vasectomy, and God surprised us with baby #5. We are so thrilled to have her! Thanks for sharing your story with us, God never ceases to bring so much joy with another baby. Found you @ Babies & Beyond link-up :)

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  13. Beautiful story! Children are truly a gift from the Lord! How wonderful to be blessed with an answer to prayer for your first daughter to have a sister (:

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  14. Hi Rachel. Thanks for sharing this on the Pintastic Pinteresting Party. What a wonderful story. We were only blessed with one child, but the doctors weren't sure I could get pregnant at all. She is now almost 33 and is still the joy of my life. Children are a precious inheritance from a loving Heavenly Father. Congratulations on bringing this little one into the world. Enjoy.

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  15. We had three of our own, then Douglas my husbands half brother came to live with us at age 12 and soon after a friend brought us her 12 year old daughter and we became Foster parents. For the next 5 years we had 5 teens in our home, and lots of fun.

    Thank you for sharing your awesome post with us here at 'Tell Me a Story."

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  16. Thank you for linking up to the Hearts for Home Blog Hop last week. Your post has been selected to feature on this week's Hearts for Home parenting themed blog post over at Monsters Ed

    http://www.monstersed.co.za/2014/04/17/hearts-home-blog-hop-recipes/

    Please remember to grab our new "I was featured" button to display on your post.

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  17. I use natural supplements and homeopathy for my family, so I laughed really hard when you thought you craved fast food due to candida overgrowth. :) So glad you had your prayers answered. We have 9, and many of my friends talk to me about regretting not having "just one more." I tell them to go for it---you'll never regret having another! Blessings!

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