Friday, May 20, 2016

How To Cope When There's Not Enough Of You To Go Around



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The last few weeks have been nuts.

Maybe because it's spring, and the end of the school
year is upon us?

Or maybe, and I am slowly learning to accept this,
"crazy busy" is just my life.





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Currently, I have at home with me everyday: a very precocious 2 year old,
an extremely active 1 year old, a non-stop talking 8 year old,
and an artsy 'happy go luck' 10 year old.

And two teens that are in school, that grace us with their presence in the
evening. Late night chats and many topics to cover. So little time.



If you had asked me 20 years ago, heck even 10, if I would end
up being a full time stay-at-home-homeschooling-large-family Mama,
I'm not sure I would've believed you.

I mean, I've always wanted children. A bigger brood even.

I came from a family with 4 kids; my husband's had five.

So we were both (semi) used to the crazy shenanigans of larger family life.

But with the closeness in age of my last two, and the fatigue of this pregnancy,
it's brought me to my knees (in prayer) more than I can recall...

I'm sure that I'm not alone.




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Crazy living doesn't have to include my particular brand of 'crazy'.

It's that season of life where you're stretched so thin, that 
you're having a hard time coping.

Some days, you feel it, and others you may not.
But overall, it's a season of extreme fatigue.

Whether physical actual tiredness...

Or emotionally.
Or spiritually dried up.

Or just feeling like Bilbo Baggins,

“I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too 

much bread.”


That has been me in this season.

___________

Mostly.

A couple of weeks ago, I decided to take some action.

It had been a really disgustingly horrible week.

I was feeling sick, and this was coming up & that.

Kids, well the usual, but it's just so much when
you're already drowning.

I took some decisive action, and although I cannot 
100% credit any one change, I can share the 
totality of my choices.




__________


How To Cope When There's Not Enough
Of You To Go Around


First of all, I started being diligent on my vitamin/supplement routine.

Even though I'm a RHN by trade (Canadian term, Nutritionist), I too
forget to take my vitamins!!

Got back on routine, & after two days I was already feeling more
energetic.

Although, this does not constitute medical advice (see clause at bottom),
 right now I'm taking:


-prenatal multivitamin




-fish oil (for the EFAs)





-vitamin D




-Magnesium powder




-Calcium/mag mix (I know I'm not consuming enough calcium this time around!)





-when I remember: my herbal pregnancy teas




-short term I've been taking an Iron/B vitamin mix (not daily though)




Honestly, I really feel that was a very helpful step.

________________

Secondly, I decided to ask some of my close friends for prayer.

It is humbling, and sometimes embarrassing for me to
share my personal life with others.

Something I am always working to overcome.

So, once I made the decision to share my heart, I quickly jumped
onto the computer, and went into our secret Facebook group.

Ok, write everything out. Share the prayer request.

Breathe!!

I let these ladies know I was having a hard time, and
that I was also battling a lot of physical symptoms with this pregnancy.

Many of them commented fairly soon afterward that they would commit to pray for me.

That's what I love about small groups! What an awesome way to feel supported.

The very next day I woke up without that nauseous & dizzy sensation 
raging through me. (had been battling this pregnancy)

I was so elated!

I let the girls know that I was feeling better, and thanked them.


Then I got a mini negative report on my latest ultrasound.

The dreaded "fibroid" word came up.

"Just to let you know, we'll be monitoring you..." etc. etc.

Only 3 mini ones at this point, but again I went online & asked for some prayer.

On another Mama group I asked for some shared experiences.

The point is: SHARE with people what you're going through!

Use wisdom in personal details with those you don't know well, 
but DO NOT GO IT ALONE!

Not smart. Not wise.

Stand together instead.

Now, I want to just add that sometimes you need someone more than
just a friend.

Since I've experienced severe perinatal depression in a prior pregnancy,
I'm at higher risk for it to occur again.

So, this time around, I'm also being proactive & keeping in
touch with an accredited Christian counselor.

He has openings where I can call him if I just need to talk through anything.

I (by His grace) haven't had to take advantage of that much
this go around.

But it's there.
It's another safety net.

(and, if you're struggling, you should NEVER feel ashamed if you need to talk 
to someone professional. I would search out a person who is accredited and that you personally feel comfortable to chat with)





________________

The next one just sorta started to snow ball out of the first two.

As I started to feel better, I became more active again.

Now, not active in terms of swimming & bike riding (like I used to do!),
but for now cleaning the house & walking will suffice.


Had an amazing time visiting with everyone.

The most encouraging comment about my health came from 
a friend that has seen me throughout this pregnancy.

"It looks like you've lost some weight, but your belly is still growing!"

I looked down. Today, the scale came out...

Finally, the weight gain has slowed down.

(I often get super puffy & swollen during pregnancy! It's due 
to my insatiable desire to eat all the time, just so I won't feel sick!!!)

But the more I've started to move, the better I've felt.


__________


Three choices.

Take better care of your health.

Share your struggles with loved ones.

Get active.

So simple, yet we often focus on any & everything else!

______________

What about you: 
what do you do when you feel you cannot cope??

__________________

***Note: this post is for educational purposes only. You should consult
a medical health provider for advice on individualized health choices.

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5 comments:

  1. I'm so glad you're feeling better. I'm not pregnant, but, boy, do I know how you feel! I'm a SAHM and homeschool 10 of our children. (Our oldest is in college.) So I have kids at home who are 3, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11, 14, 16, and 17 years old. I feel like Bilbo Baggins all the time! I find that writing helps me work through my stress so much, even though I usually can't do it until late at night, but it is such great therapy for me.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have four kiddos who were six and under by the time #4 rolled around. Life has always been rather crazy- then because I was watching kids climbing the walls all the time and now because they are teens and I'm running them everywhere all the time! I have a hard time with that asking people for prayer/help. I want to think I can do it all.

    These are good words of advice. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have a hard time asking for help. But, I'm working on that weakness. I often just roll with my issues but I think I'll be better served by talking with people who can stand in the gap, by praying for me and my family. I love how simple these tips are. Yet, they can be powerful when faithfully implemented.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Amazing blog!!!! A true inspiration and I am blessed to have met you

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love this! I am so glad I stumbled upon your blog. Thank you for being a positive force for families. My husband and I struggle to have children but we write about that and our own adventures on our website. We would be totally honored to get a visit from you at www.beingbolens.com.

    Know that you made a positive impression on someone today! I will continue to follow along your journey! Have a blessed day!

    With love,
    The Bolen's

    ReplyDelete

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